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FINGER ELEVEN recently finished a cross-Canada tour opening for OZZY
OSBOURNE. We asked them to keep a diary. They did. Here it is.
WORDS: SCOTT ANDERSON
PHOTOS: RICK BEDDOE
JUNE 1
It’s about 7:00pm. I haven’t done much of
interest today. A bunch of press, mostly. I’ve been trying to be
interested — and interesting — in relation to everything
around here in Vancouver.
I do, however, feel like rocking the s**t out of this
arena tonight.
No sign of Ozzy today but his presence is made known
through the legion of fans waiting by the buses. They really don’t
know/care about you (meaning us). Sure, you just stepped out of a rock
bus, and that may mean something. But it doesn’t mean s**t if you’re
not Ozzy. Not today, pal. You’re not Ozzy, you’re not Newsted,
you haven’t even met Zakk Wylde and you sure as s**t haven’t
met Mike Bordin (who I sincerely hope to meet).
No. You’re a junior rocker among legends of the
genre. The fans leave you free and clear to get inside the arena to
go get your coffee and catering. Kind of makes you make sure you’re
mentally prepared to rock as hard as you possibly can, this being the
first show of the tour and all.
I don’t feel anxious. All I’m thinking about,
I swear to God, is whether I’ve had enough Gatorade. Which means,
I suppose, that I’m relaxed and focussed.
This night is for Ozzy. I think about this while I’m
in the shower. We need their attention. This might be difficult. So,
by that logic, if I go up there and rock and get even a couple of cheers,
it’s gonna mean THAT MUCH MORE.
PS: Ozzy was really good. And we got the couple of
cheers that I asked God for earlier.
JUNE 5
The things I’ve seen in Edmonton:
There’s a lady on the corner of 104th and Jasper
who’s so f**king cool, I hope you’re sitting down.
Alright, get this: she asks for quarters. Like this:
“Got a quarter? Got a quarter? Got a quarter? Got a quarter? Got
a quarter?” Like that. Cool, right? I’m not done.
Then, what she does with all the money she’s
got is take it all to the Second Cup. It’s right there across the
street. She orders a coffee and a bunch of different pastries. She samples
them all, DOES NOT FINISH ANY OF THEM, okay? And then, with money she
has left, leaves a giant stack of quarters for the girls working at
the Second Cup. My brain hurts in the most wonderful way when I think
about that story. She’s out there working her ass off every day
for the girls of the Second Cup. Guess what the girls of the Second
Cup call her.
Quarter lady.
Also of interest: saw a red Dodge Neon with giant
flame decals pasted on either door. Flames on cars equals a faster top
speed and 30 percent more women for the driver. Everyone knows this.
But what do you get when you paste the flames on the wrong side?
Are you with me? This guy has put REVERSE FLAMES on his car!! Dude’s
so cool, he only drives fast... in reverse!!! If God is reading this,
I hope He finds the will to marry away all my future daughters to this
genius so we can finally call it quits and give the planet back to the
dolphins.
JUNE 6
Show day in Edmonton. I run around doing press for
about five hours from the moment I wake up. No interesting details to
speak of. In summary, I spend five hours trying to find new ways to
say “I have a new record coming out and I quite like it!”
The end.
Right after we play the show, I know as we were walking
back to the dressing room from the stage that there are none present
who thought we had done anything worth mentioning. The beer makes us
forget all that, though. Thanks, Molson!
PS: Ozzy seems to be getting better and better the
further east we travel.
TOUR LOG DIARY SUPPLEMENTAL: Finger eleven doesn’t mean
dick.
We had a female visitor on our bus who had sort of
heard of us, heard our name at least, but had not heard our music. She
was very sorry about this fact.
“Oh, that’s completely okay. We’re
not offended. Well, I’m not anyway.”
You see, I’m very friendly, and not just a bit
of a charmer. I decide to pour it on.
“So what kind of music do you listen to?”
I adore asking this question. I judge most people
by it, judge them wholly by the next few sentences. Sound unfair? I
don’t give a s**t. Go get your own system.
“Oh, I listen to various artists.”
God, keep this wonderful girl safe. She is
adorable. Because to her, the answer she just gave doesn’t happen
to be funny as s**t.
“Oh, and I love Billy Joel.”
Alright. Show me the camera. Who put this girl up
to this? Clearly, music doesn’t, can’t, and never will mean
much to this girl.
The gavel has come crashing down. I celebrate with
another drink.
“So what’s this mean?”
She’s holding up our poster, pointing to our...
f**k. Pointing to our name.
“What’s Finger Eleven mean?”
This question is a fair one. This question is not
asked out of malice or contempt for the band. It’s asked out of
curiosity. There’s no reason to be on the defensive. I’ve
had varied and colourful answers to this question.
I walk over to her. I’m not going to do this
little speech in front of the whole bus load of people. I tell her that
it was a lyric I wrote for a song we had on our first album. She’s
looking at me expectantly. She’s right to do so. There’s more
to the story. Some people are satisfied with this “explanation.”
She, however, doesn’t seem to be.
“I was talking about how every decision one makes
can bring them closer to becoming perfect and pure and complete as individuals.
Those decisions come from your own intuition. From your own instinct.
I think it’s just a matter of listening to that instinct. It was
just something I never wanted to forget, you know?”
She’s just looking at me, far (far) from looking
satisfied.
“Individual choice based on instinct: that’s
pretty much what I was trying to get at. See the logo?” I point
to the poster. “Same thing!”
“Hmm.” She says this in a sort of matronly
manner, starting high and finishing quick and clipped. She’s not
satisfied. Neither am I. I get to my bunk soon after. I shall have to
work on all this explanation.
No. F**k that. That was pretty good! I usually stumble
way more than that. And I’m drunk.
F**king “various artists.” Pffft!
JUNE 8
The morning of the Winnipeg show didn’t find
me so well.
Despite my best efforts, everything is currently annoying
the living s**t out of me. We have to go sign some autographs, which
is actually quite nice. They are waiting for us. They want to see us,
and we want to see them.
After that, we head off to the radio station and do
an acoustic set (three songs). They go well, despite my mood. Although
we all don’t agree on how well it actually went. In the dressing
room, right after tonight’s show, Jay and Rich listen. James is
upset with the tempo. I come out of the shower and am not entirely disgusted
with what I hear. F**k, it sounds like acoustic Finger Eleven. Yeah,
it’s too slow. I don’t know exactly where the blame should
be placed, but that fact doesn’t ruin the song.
Ozzy is struggling just a tiny bit tonight. But get
this: he added another song to the set list tonight! You know what that
means? That means OZZY CARES. He cares about you and he cares about
me. Sir Zakk Wylde is burning it all up tonight. There will not be any
stopping him.
Here’s what happened to James in catering today:
He’s having dinner, watching the TV in there,
and guess what video comes on? It’s us!! And guess who notices!?
Jason f**king Newsted!! He says something like: “Ooh, ooh, look,
it’s you!” as he points to Jimmy from across the room. He
also asks why the singer looks so angry.
JUNE 10
Drove all night from T-bay to T-dot. (How hip is this
country? Nay, how hip am I?)
Here’s the cool thing that happened on this,
the day before the Ozzy show in T.O.:
We’re parked beside the hotel in a bus. A bus
has a generator (for power while parked). A generator makes a certain
degree of noise. It’s a by-law of the city that you may not leave
a generator running all night in Toronto. What these by-law fat cats
don’t know is boys on buses just wanna play Halo.
So we do.
After that, at about 11:45, Rick and I are just warming
up to “adult swim” when someone knocks on the door. Now, when
someone knocks on the bus door it’s a dead giveaway for those already
on board that this will almost certainly be unwelcome company. And it
is.
Outside the bus is a guy in a vest and a name tag.
I put down my beer, unlock the door, and before I can cordially greet
this gentleman, he says, as I swing the door open:
“You can’t run the generator while you’re
a guest at this hotel. This is a copy of the paper you received checking
in. The last bus that ran the generator all night got their lights smashed
in by someone in that building there.” He points to it and, I assume,
takes a breath.
“Is that legal?” I ask. I have beer
and confidence.
“Well, no... You... What’s not legal
is the generator all night running, and you can’t do that.”
This asshole doesn’t even think to call
me sir.
I call bulls**t on Vesty Gold-tag for two reasons:
Reason Number One: the traffic outside the hotel was
way louder than any generator could ever be.
Reason Number Two: the reasons for vandalizing a rock
bus are numerous. Having a loud generator doesn’t even rate in
the top 50. The last bus to stay here and have its lights smashed in
just happened to be carrying a really s**tty band. This also happened
to catch the attention of some uncreative vandals. Case closed.
“It’s getting shut off.” I say this
like it was my idea all along.
We take the beer and the Halo upstairs and shut the
bus down. Amen.
JUNE 11
Show day in Toronto.
The show was pretty good. Hot on stage for some reason.
The crowd wanted Ozzy extra quickly tonight. Fair
enough. After the show, I hung out in one of the fancy executive boxes.
From there, it was pretty f**king easy to forget anyone other than Ozzy
had anything to do with tonight. And that was okay.
This was the biggest crowd we’ve ever played
for in the city of Toronto. We went out and got drunk with pretty much
everyone we know after the show.
JUNE 14
Canada is cram packed full of beautiful women. It’s
dangerously over-populated with gorgeous women from province to province.
Get a giant map of Canada. Hang it up. Throw a dart.
Did it stick?
That’s where the beautiful women are.
Montreal City is like this but better. The whole goddamn
city hurts your brain. Every time I come here I have to remember to
come back. For bagels and... other things.
It hurts so good when you look at women on the street.
This is what the women would say to you if they had the time to talk
to grubs like you:
“I look like parfum commercial, non? You like
parfum commercial? Sexy sexy, oui!”
But they will never talk to a guy like you. Sorry,
kiddo. You should have driven a Viper or a Porsche around the city all
goddamned night. At the very least, you could have dressed up in an
authentic Formula One outfit and ran around the city, redefining what
it means to be a rich idiot who doesn’t have a clue what to do
with his money. At least they’d know you have some.
Not you, though. Forget it.
We were supposed to meet Ozzy today but all the Formula
One heroes are in line to meet him first. We lose.
JUNE 16
We’re in Quebec. The last day of the tour.
We’re supposed to meet Ozzy. We meet a lot of
Ozzy’s crew. I meet Mike Bordin and he says a lot of nice things
about our band. He’s been watching every night apparently. I tell
him that it’s amazing to meet him. He dismisses this by shrugging
his shoulders. He’s way too nice.
We get to meet Ozzy later that day. We wait outside
his dressing room. We say hi. He hugs us all.
This is the end of the tour alright.
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Preparation.
Attention to detail in all aspects of setup can mean the difference
between triumph and disaster.
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Mojo. The
importance of this critical but elusive quality can not be overstated. |
Flawless Execution.
This should more-or-less fall into place if you get steps one and
two right. |
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THE CAST:
FINGER ELEVEN
SCOTT ANDERSON: VOCALS
JAMES BLACK: GUITAR
RICK JACKETT: GUITAR
SEAN ANDERSON: BASS
RICK BEDDOE: DRUMS
OZZY’S BAND
OZZY OSBOURNE: OZZY OSBOURNE
ZAKK WYLDE: GUITAR, HAIR
MIKE BORDIN: DRUMS, DREADS
JASON NEWSTED: BASS
THE ITINERARY:
June 1 Vancouver BC, GM Place
*June 2 Victoria BC, Strathcona Hotel
June 4 Calgary AB, Saddledome
June 6 Edmonton AB, Skyreach Centre
June 8 Winnipeg MB, Winnipeg Arena
*June 9 Thunder Bay ON, The Zoo
June 11 Toronto ON, Air Canada Centre
June 12 Ottawa ON, Corel Centre
*June 13 Peterborough ON, Club Vibe
June 14 Montreal QC, Bell Centre
June 16 Quebec City QC, Le Colisee
*F11 headline show
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